Dont really have much to write tonight. But I wanted to make a note of something. I laughed tonight. This may not be a big deal to most people - but for almost four months now I've either not laughed at all or cut myself off as soon as I started laughing. We went to a movie tonight though..."The Hangover"...it was SO funny. It felt good to laugh. Of course, after every laugh I still felt the fimilar pang of guilt I feel whenever I have a fleeting moment of happiness. "My son is gone, why should I be happy?" But like I said...it felt good to laugh. I felt like, for the first time, maybe Ryan wouldn't want me to be sad all the time. It doesn't mean I wont be...but maybe it was a step forward.....
"Grief: It's a 2 steps forward, one step back kinda thing"
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